Between Two Consenting Idiots
by Upside-down Jupiter
Summary: This will eventually be a series of short pairing fics with highly varied canonicity. Chapter 3, Jun has some 'splaining to do. And considering who she's talking to, she may be in way over her head.
1. Akira Was Here

"Akira~." Sae's voice was in full no-nonsense mode, and not to answer would likely be... unwise.

"What?" Akira had long since realized that locked doors were no obstacle to her sister in arms, and did not even bother asking how she had got in unnoticed.

"How long are you going to spend polishing your sword? It's two in the morning and you're really going to regret it tomorrow if you don't get some rest."

"I don't know. Look, I just keep going over the duel again and again in my head. I couldn't sleep if you drugged me."

"Oh?"

"And that was _not _an invitation," Akira added, emphatically.

"Well, this is: Come to bed. If not for your own sake, then for mine."

Smoothly as always, Akira proceeded to drop her sword on her toe and issue a string of expletives that was very nearly worthy of Sid. For the first time that night, though, she looked at something other than her weapon and the darkness outside the window, and even put the blade away. At least her shinyu's tone of voice was lightening a bit, but at the moment, her warm, dark eyes seemed to take up Akira's whole field of vision, capture her and draw her inexplicably closer. "Um... Sae? Is something wrong?"

"You remember what I said to you before?"

"Well, there were a lot of things..."

"The one about 'Akira was here?'" Alas, Akira did not appear to understand until Sae illuminated it for her in no uncertain terms, tracing a path down the front of her shirt as though her fingers were following a line of vertical text. She paused strategically, and was delighted to watch her partner turn about seven different shades of red within the span of three seconds. It was not quite a record, but it was close. "I've concluded it would be much more effective in _your _handwriting, rather than mine."

"Wha... I thought you broke it off! Ryouichi's never gonna see it now! Not unless something really goes off the rails! Right?"

"Are you really so dense? Wait... never mind, don't answer that."

As soon as she could breathe again, all Akira could think to say was "Huh?"

Sae stifled a giggle, and, now that she had come close enough, took her hand to pull her down onto the bed with her. "Look at me."

"I... seriously... cannot look at anything else right now." Akira swallowed nervously, not even really sure why she was so out-of-sorts.

"Good. Because I want you to write it. Just in case they do find a way to force me into it. And... I want for us to make it true. Here. Tonight." Akira gulped again and searched Sae's face. She wore only the half-mischievous, half-deadly serious expression that rendered her so frustratingly unreadable.

"You for real?" she managed to croak out.

"Of course. After all, honesty is one of the pillars of a happy and successful marriage, isn't it? Right up there with not seducing your future in-laws, I suspect. Ah, well. Guess nobody's perfect."

"Guh..."

"Besides, would I tease you? Oh... wait, don't answer that. Would I tease you at a time like this? Oh... wait... Let me just show you."

Most of Sae's words had dripped with irony, but the kiss that she followed up with had to be the least sarcastic thing she had ever done with her mouth. A circuit in Akira's brain overloaded almost immediately, and she collapsed forward onto her shinyu's chest with a thin trickle of blood running from her nose, unresponsive. Sae smiled and ruffled her hair affectionately, although she was quite certain Akira was too far gone to notice.

"There we go. Out like a light, and no drugs necessary," she said to herself with a smug little smirk. "I swear, Akira... sometimes you are such a teenaged boy after all."


	2. Perseverance

_Perseverance. _

_If I had a middle name, that would be it. Unless it was 'pervert.' Or 'not bisexual.' _

_So far so good. Both of my eyeballs are present and accounted for. I need those eyeballs so I can hide up here and watch you, Ayana. God damn if my head doesn't hurt, though. I must remember this feeling and keep it with me. It will make my inevitable victory all the sweeter, when I finally claim you._

_I'm not sure why you resist so much. I just want to make you forget everything else for a few minutes. I'm pretty sure I can, and it seems like once that happens I might safely say that I've known the real you. _

_Ah, she's getting up now. Go ahead, Ayana-chan. Show me something I haven't seen yet, whether it's a new sword technique or another side of you. Or, you know, your boobs. I'm not picky. _

_My... that's the same sequence of strikes you used in our fight. I wonder... are you thinking of me as you do that? Of course you are, with that cute little death glare and your teeth clenched. I must say, I'm flattered, considering the interplay of sex and violence I've observed from many people I have known._

_Yeah, that's the angle you nailed me with that time. Ouch. Splat, right on my face in the dirt where I belong. Reminds me of what Yuho said afterwards. Maybe she was right. I had your star already and then I got all worried about her and completely forgot I was supposed to be fighting. I have to wonder if the secret to winning the way you do is to at least tell yourself you don't give a damn about anyone else. If that's the case, I can never defeat you with my sword, nor do I want to._

_I don't say I love you just to annoy you, after all, even though you're pretty funny when you're mad. Or at least after the bleeding stops. But hey, if that's the only way you see fit to touch me for now, I'll take it. _

_Sooner or later, I'll find _my _way to conquer you. So watch out... I mean look forward to it._


	3. That Idiot Should Be In Pictures

"That's good, just keep tilting your head back and pinch it, and the bleeding should stop. Goodness, what a mess."

"One question, if you do not mind. Exactly how did you come by such a picture?"

"Being a master pervert, I have my ways, which is to say I took it myself. Please just accept that as a good enough answer. Here."

Isuzu impatiently waved away the proffered tissue box and pressed her inquiry further, peering again at the photograph she had just been handed instead. "But it almost looks as if Momoka-san deliberately posed that way for your benefit. Tell me, was that the case?" Her tone, while just as polite as ever, carried the tiniest edge of menace. Jun went a bit pale, but pressed on.

"No, no! This one was just a lucky shot, really. Most girls do that when they're trying to catch some sun with no one around and they're not taking ninjas into account. And who'd know that any better than I?"

"I see. I shall have to keep a closer watch over her in future."

Jun barely managed to stifle a snicker. Isuzu had just looked so _serious_ when she said it!

"Another thing I don't understand is that if it is, as you say, part of your prized collection of… ah…_ questionable_ photos, why would you be so willing to part with it that you just randomly offer it to me?"

"Well, that's easy. I like to encourage such endearing young passions as yours wherever I find them. Our kind have to stick together, after all."

_"Our_ kind?" Isuzu asked pointedly, carefully tucking the picture into a pocket of her jacket.

"Oh, you know what I mean... I hope."

"Kuga-san. Are you suggesting that I am also a... ah... pervert?"

Jun facepalmed for a moment. "Well, for certain values of pervert, absolutely. Oh, honestly, _here!_ You're even scarier than usual, looking like that!"

Isuzu finally took the tissues that were still being pushed at her and wiped off what she could of the blood. Alas, enough of it had dried that she retained the look of a very careless vampire. "Which values would these be?"

"Ohhhh, this is not going to be easy, is it?"

"Go on." Isuzu was looking at her expectantly. Jun gulped, adjusted her collar, and then squared her shoulders. This was going to take nerves of steel. Possibly titanium, even.

"All right, Inu-chan. Let me explain a few things to you… See, when a girl likes another girl a whoooole lot..."


End file.
